Season 4 Episode 10 – Should Be Common Sense – How to Stay Hired
*** Note were using a new AI tool for episode notes and transcription. It’s better than nothing, and better than what I was doing (next to nothing) but not perfect ***
In this episode of Jaded HR, hosts Warren and Feathers discuss various topics related to the workplace and share their insights and experiences. They begin with a somber note, acknowledging a recent shooting incident in Richmond, VA – right up the road from Feathers and reflecting on the impact of such events on HR professionals. Despite the gravity of the situation, they transition into a more lighthearted discussion about personal events, including Warren’s birthday celebration and the unique gift he received from his kids.
The hosts then dive into a thought-provoking article by labor and employment attorney Karen Michael, which offers 10 tips for success in the workforce. They share their thoughts on each tip, emphasizing the importance of mindset, punctuality, and adapting to virtual work environments. They also touch on the common challenges faced by HR professionals when dealing with employee attendance and attitudes.
Throughout the episode, Warren and Feathers provide their unique perspectives, anecdotes, and occasional jaded humor, making for an engaging and informative conversation. Tune in to gain valuable insights and practical advice on thriving in the workplace.
- Acknowledging the recent shooting incident in their city and the impact on HR professionals
- Reflecting on personal events, including Warren’s birthday celebration
- Discussing Karen Michael’s article: “Labor Law: As new grads enter the workforce – Top 10 tips on how to stay hired”
- Highlighting the importance of mindset, punctuality, and adaptability
- Sharing personal experiences related to employee attendance and attitudes
- Providing valuable insights and advice for navigating the challenges of the modern workplace
Note: The episode addresses sensitive topics such as shootings and workplace incidents but also incorporates humor and lighter discussions. Listener discretion is advised.
Read the full article here: https://richmond.com/zzstyling/column/labor-law-as-new-grads-enter-the-workforce-top-10-tips-on-how-to-stay/article_a245e75e-fb0f-11ed-a50d-f348e70bd64d.html
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AI Generated so not perfect.
Andrew Quilpa: 0:03
Had you actually read the email, you would know that the podcast you are about to listen to could contain explicit language and offensive content. These HR experts’ views are not representative of their past, present or future employers. If you’ve ever heard my manager is unfair to me. I need you to reset my HR portal password, or can I write up my employee for crying too much? Welcome to our little safe zone. Welcome to JDDHR.
Welcome to JDDHR, to podcast by two HR professionals who want to help you get through work day by saying all the things you’re thinking, but say them out loud. I’m Warren.Feathers: 1:20
Welcome to JDDHR.
Well, i think somebody else has got two weeks left until there.
So, yes, so happy 63rd birthday, my friend.
Yes, thank you. Thank you. I that’s 60. Yes, i no, i had a, had a good time. I the first we were talking offline. This is the first time in a couple of years I’ve been at home for my birthday. We’ve usually been hanging out together at a mutual friend’s house on my birthday weekend, and so this time I stuck at home just just to do it.
Your wife was like aren’t you supposed to be someone this weekend? Yeah, go, get, get out guy. Yeah.
Bye, yeah. So it was a good time, i think. I posted on on Facebook my, my kids got me a beer holster like our buddy. Alex has
I was like, oh, this is so cool. Haley remembered to remember that I liked that, I guess So. So I have a beer holstered house, So that’s awesome. You did like for the bandolier ones.
So you have like cross your chest and you have like six on there. Yeah.
Don’t, don’t tempt me. Who knows, who knows what will happen next, but yeah, But real quick warrant before we jump into anything more.
So, in a non-jaded sense, we’re recording this episode. On June 6th and tonight, unfortunately, my city joined the fraternity of cities that had active shooters And there was an individual that shot up a high school graduation tonight in downtown Richmond, where I, where I reside, and it’s on a park on Virginia Commonwealth University’s campus, a place that I frequent quite a bit. I run through there a lot. It’s a beautiful part of our city But unfortunately when a graduation was being let out there was active shooters And, as of a couple hours ago I know, there was two fatalities. So it made me think a lot on the way home from where I was prior to our conversation tonight about like what I would do as a as an HR professional if something like that happened in my own facility. It just makes it. It makes it too real. I mean I know that there’s been horrific shootings across our country of the last. I mean I can remember where I was when Columbine happened, but I mean it’s it’s become too much of a commonplace not to get political. I’m not going to go that route, but it’s. It just hits you a little bit differently when it’s in your own backyard.
Yeah, yep, exactly, you know, here we had a few months ago the Chesapeake Walmart shooting, which is the second closest Walmart to where I live, but it’s a mental health problem. But anyways, yeah, it’s with. With the shootings, mass shootings. It’s a sad state of affairs And I didn’t even hear about that tonight, but since I got home I have really watched TV or anything from work.
I haven’t watched TV or seen what’s kind of the most of the I mean all the major news networks right now are. I’m looking up, pulling up the other one. Yeah, it’s, it’s the major story right now. I’m both seeing it in Fox News in terms of their online capacity. Oh yeah, they’re online platforms. Yeah, i mean just a high school graduation. I mean like, yeah, i mean the, the 18, you’re invincible, you’re.
you’re one of the high points of your life thus far, probably graduating from high school. So you’re on top of the world.
and for that to happen, then, Yeah, the mayor, the mayor of the city of Richmond, tonight came out and then his press conference and said is anything sacred anymore? I thought that was a pretty profound statement.
Well, no. the answer is just plain no. We’ve seen religious buildings of all types, all sex, whatever religions Attacked, and things like that. So it’s nothing sacred anymore.
So I would, i would pose this question. I would pose this question like for our listeners that obviously this is a very non-jaded, jaded topic, but people do comment, like on our social media platforms. I’d be very interested to hear, like, if you have programs or thought process in place that if something like this would happen in your workplace, where you are an active member of either HR management or an HR visit, like all the different roles inside of our profession, like what, how would the situation be handled?
Well, i’ve got a little insight on that. First, one of the required annual trainings for DOD cleared employees is active shooter training. That we do And it’s online. It’s not a physical training, it’s online training. But I guess was it last week or the week before was the two year anniversary of the Virginia Beach shooting And that’s less than five miles from my work And I pass by that area every day to and from work And we, the management team, sort of had a discussion about What do we do If this happens with us. What do we do? And we came up with some plans and we distributed some information to the employees about what to do. One thing I didn’t know before I did the active shooter training from the DOD is you should not lie on the ground. Bullets tend to shatter when they hit the ground and spread out that way, so you should stay low, but not like life flat on the ground. So that was something I did learn and took away from it. But unfortunately, you can have all the best planning in the world, you can come up with great plans, but, like they say in the military, all the plans go straight to hell once the first shot is fired, and that’s exactly what would happen in an active shooter situation at work. You can have plans, you can have everything in place that you need to have in place to do what do right, but you just don’t know. I read, i was reading up on some active shooter training And one of the things I read up on was do not, even in fire drills or anything, do not have standard muster points, because theory was that someone could pull a fire alarm and then be waiting at the muster point where they can take out more people quickly because you’re in one place. So it’s just, you can’t be right in the situation. You can definitely do wrong, but you can’t do right. I don’t, i really don’t see it. You can just try your best and get through it, but I’m glad I’ve not ever been an HR person in a situation like a company I know you were talking about. This was a high school graduation, but a company type shooting. We discussed, patrick and I immediately after the episode, immediately after the Chesapeake shooting. Walmart seems to have done a lot of wrong things and they’re handling of that situation. But yeah, it’s, it’s. It only takes one person with some motivation behind them And that’s that’s what you get, unfortunately.
So All right, well, let’s be jaded now.
Well, let’s, let’s be jaded before we get to jaded Want to. I have once again changed up our link tree a little bit, so go check it out. There’s all sorts of ways to support us, like Hallie does, our jaded HR rock star There. I’ve mentioned it once before, but we added a new lower level of support on Patreon So you can contribute the minimum quarter support us. But no, it doesn’t. I think it’s three dollars a month but it’s the lowest and that’s the HR intern tier. And then we have a. I forget the price of HR God, like being tier was, but it’s a big price. You want like $50,000 or a month or something like that, something I can retire on. We can pay off my student loans. So good, yes, one kid recently out of college, one going in. Student loans are like another whole. Another thing, but not necessarily segue, but my, my main story from today comes from the Richmond Times Dispatch And I found it on LinkedIn and I followed the link and it’s by Karen Michael. She’s a labor and employment attorney up there in Richmond. Actually, she is her own law firm, president of the Richmond base, karen Michael PLC, author of stay hired. So anyways, she wrote a great article and it’s it’s directed at. Well, that the title is for new graduates 10 tips on how to be successful in the workforce, and these 10 tips are excellent for anybody, not just new people entering the workforce, but it is. She talks about the high schools and college graduations going on and people are going to be entering the workforce for the first time, so I found this a really interesting article. I want to want to share these top 10 tips and get your take on any of them. But number one is mindset matters. Lack of skills is the least likely reason people lose their jobs. Employees get fired for issues with attendance, attitude and coordination. It goes on. So it’s all about how you approach the work and be respectful, resilient, she says, stay self motivated, positive and engage open minded All those things that really, i think that’s a great number one place mindset matters. Things suck sometimes. Sometimes you have no control over what’s going on around you. But just keep a screw it, we’re going to get through this one way or another. People, let’s go keep a positive mindset even on the worst of times.
Yeah it’s all about how you show up. Yeah, these all sound like things you can control. Yes, you’re right, you absolutely are.
There’s going to be more things to control.
There’s going to be shitty days, it’s going to happen a lot, but it’s how you adapt and move forward and learn all those things. Me, these are all cliches we can all throw out there, but yeah, i think it’s great. Number one, that’s. it’s. it’s accurate.
Very accurate. Number two be on time to work. I’ve had this exact, but you don’t believe how many people don’t get that simple grasp. And she goes on to say Hey, if your job starts at 8am, you shouldn’t be driving in the parking lot at am. you should be at your desk, ready to go at 8am or wherever you’re working, and be ready to go. I’ve had so many conversations, even before being in HR When I was a retail manager Hey, the store opens at 8am. I need cashiers here, i need you here before 8. You’re, i need you at the, at the register when I unlock the doors at eight o’clock. and people just did not get that.
So, yeah, that’s called logic, common sense. Like those things, they don’t exist.
But you don’t know how many times I’ve had, as an HR person, a conversation with someone Hey, we need you to be on time to work. You’re supposed to be here at eight, but you’re not at your desk until eight, thirty, nine o’clock, whatever it is. And they said Well, i was here after getting your coffee, chit chatting, doing all those things in the morning. That’s, you need to be ready to go at 8am and everybody gets and drops their lunch off in the refrigerator, whatever, and search, chit chatting. That’s fine, but not every single day. So, and if you are going to be late, have a common courtesy just to call, just say Hey, boss, i’m a couple minutes late.
Stop. Stop being logical, warren. I know you’re using common sense too much like remember, people are fucking morons.
And there’s your best practice for today. People remember people are fucking morons. So Number three is sort of modern to the today’s time. Virtual work is work and I think that is something that people Who are already in the workplace struggled with. I think this is people who are new to the workplace struggle with it. It You don’t just roll out of bed and hit your zoom or get on your zoom or log in or do whatever you do when you work remotely, you’ve got a. Virtual work is work. You’re getting paid to do a job And I know so many people that have become more productive because they’re working at home and they don’t have the distractions, they don’t have things and they can be more productive while at home. They can do a chore or everyone’s want to. Instead of taking five minute break and going chit chatting in the break room, they change out a load of laundry, run the dishes, do, vacuum the floor, do whatever to be productive at home as well.
So Just like hearing your chore list.
That’s. That’s my chore list. Walk the dog.
Oh, ice, ice down the beer for after work.
Yeah, at three o’clock you have to have the beer iced. So yeah, ready for five o’clock.
It’s summertime, you’re close from the water. You can like, yeah, ice down the beer, get across the traffic, hit the sound.
And in my new beer holster. I’m ready to go, i’m.
It’s gonna be in spring baby Warren’s gonna be walking to the sound beer and holster.
Let’s see here number four. I love this one. This is like she. She channeled me directly. Leave your drama at home. And oh my gosh I don’t know how many times we’ve covered it in the podcast people and their ridiculous drama and Everything else along those lines. It is, it’s too much and I’m gonna actually read this paragraph and leave the drama at home. Some people come to work, in, stir up negativity, toxicity and gossip. Don’t be one of those people. Don’t engage with those people. Avoid those people. They will latch on to anyone who will listen and engage with them. Don’t get caught up and I think that that’s final, that line They will attach to to you. They’re looking for a receptive audience and if you give them that inch, they’ve got you hooked and they’re gonna continue to use you and give you all their negative just view all their negativity on you and Even if you have a most positive mindset in the world, just hearing that shit day after day, all day long, it’s gonna wear you down and you’re gonna be you’re gonna be the next person.
So yeah, yeah, but that shit sells. That’s. That’s why we’re jaded, That’s how you have a podcast, yeah, about the people. Shit at work, like shut up.
But put us out of work. Who people? because because you and beings and put us out of work. We’re not gonna be replaced by AI. We’re gonna be replaced by everybody coming to their senses and doing what the fuck they’re supposed to do, and that’s when HR is gonna Lose their job.
So if you, if you really despise HR, never gonna that’s never gonna happen, so we’re golden.
Hey, we can all dream. If you despise HR as much as you say you do, you do what you’re supposed to do, when you’re supposed to do it, how you’re supposed to do it, and then you won’t have problems and we will disappear. At least half of us would out of the work world. Number five it gets a little bit more serious. If you’re harassed or discriminated against, tell someone. I think I Think that’s important for all people. You’ve got to inform someone once If, if something is going on. But she, she goes on once again. She she channeled me perfectly at this also. Well, she says don’t harass others as well, including don’t discuss sex at work, making that’s what she said joke or Conduct any racist, homophobic or dragatory towards anybody else. So that that’s, that’s Absolutely true. You can’t, you know, nobody wants to work in an environment like that. You can have fun, and I tell you what I think women are the worst offenders.
You would think that men have the naughty sex There goes all over.
audience No no, i think they will absolutely agree with me on this. They Women are so bad when they’re talking about the sex and relationships and things that work. I’ve heard things from women that I’ve never heard from dudes, and you know the people I know, so I That’s a pretty stellar feat.
That is saying a lot.
It says a lot, a number six. Don’t be offended by literally everything. Although you have a right not to be harassed or discriminated against, the law doesn’t protect against petty slights, adoances, isolated Incidents but that’s our current.
That’s our current. It’s not keep on. That’s our current, exactly. You hurt my feelings, warren.
Well, she goes in college. You might have been provided a safe space to protest your objection with your fellow students in constable stance, on what it is that you’re passionate about On a job. It doesn’t work that way. In a diverse work environment, people have different opinions, lifestyles, da-da-da-da-da. So yeah, getting a opinion, getting hurt and dissing. You can have disagreements and you can disagree with me. It doesn’t mean you have to say something to me. Oh my God, I don’t know. You do whatever wrong. I’m sure I do everything wrong. I’ve been married 30 years. I do everything wrong, So I know that. But you just don’t get. You’re hurt about things and you don’t have the right not to be offended. That’s this whole garbage. And why are people getting so offended? I’m not going to get into the politics of all the target stuff, the Bud Light stuff and things that are offending people. Now There’s a million. There’s literally a million different ways to look at it. It doesn’t matter. I’ve heard some very interesting things that I would never thought I’d hear from people on both sides, left and right, about those things. But it’s just don’t get offended people.
I just want to get a sign up in front of my office or you’re into the trust tree. Now You can say whatever you like. You heard a save space Like. Fuck out, Like, please.
They feel for that shit Right.
First call to the right of their manager. You’re never going to believe what I just heard.
Oh, boy Number seven, dress and groom appropriately.
Yes, somehow period period Move on.
Yes, yes, She says somehow people object to dress codes that are not allowing them to be their authentic selves. And you know I’ve changed my view over the past few years over bringing your authentic self to work. I am much more open to the bring your whole self to work thing, but there’s got to be boundaries to that as well, and those boundaries come to what we said at number four. Leave the drama at home And it still happens, even like it’s a high school sometimes. The way people dress when they get. I think I’ve told the story once upon a time on the podcast before. I was brand new in HR position at a company, but all the other HR people it was like my second week and we’re going to a conference that I didn’t get paid for as I didn’t, i wasn’t there to go Anyway. So I was only HR person and a manager calls me, calls for HR, and I’m the only one there. So they get me and I’m a recruiter. I’m not general as I’m doing anything employee relations wise, but it was a manager who I’d never heard of before. He says you need to get over here and tell Britney Spears she does not work at this office And apparently he had some very, not so pleasant things opinion of her choice of wardrobe for the day, and I, you know, i feel like a little bit of a creeper. I went over because that office was in a different location in my office, like across the street, like at a corner. But so I got out, i walked over there and I’ve wanted to see for myself before I said anything one way or the other. I’ve seen worse. It’s not anything I would. I would point out to a person I talked to, another manager. Does you know that? I actually news I didn’t know the first manager at all. He said he ended up saying he’d handle it. But it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s crazy, it’s something we’ve said. I’ve even said it today follow the rules. See how hard life can be. Just follow the rules. It says most, all it. Most employers offer an orientation which you’re provided with the company’s policies. Reading policies is like watching paint dry, but you need to know them, like you need to know the speed limit on 460. Believe me, i know that one very well. I know what the rules are around attendance, dress code, conduct, conflicts, ventures, etc. So it says, no, don’t just know them, follow them. And it’s handbooks aren’t made of rules. Let’s see how can we screw with people today. What can sort of stupid thing can we put in our handbook? but there’s usually a reason behind it. So just follow the rules. You know you’re not special as you think you are sometimes. So, number nine, your manager is not your friend. And I love, i love this. I’m what one’s gonna read this thing completely plagiarizing her, her work, or I’m giving her credit, but I’m using it all. Your, your manager is not your friend. Your manager is not your enemy. Your manager succeeds when you succeed. The manager has a vested interest in your success. Don’t assume that your manager hates you or is out to get you. Also, don’t be besties with your manager. I, i don’t think anything has been been written. That’s more true if you’re a shitty employee. It reflects on that manager. They want you to succeed. They want you to do well, because if you do well, they get credit for it. So just it’s. It’s a symbiotic relationship. They’re they’re not out to get you. You do well, they’ll treat you well and they’ll look good and they’ll continue to make you look good.
It really is a team environment in that that regard, in the state that statement is so accurate though your, your manager is not like they’re not your friend. You shouldn’t treat them like, yes, you should have a good, friendly, working, honest, to some extent, relationship with your manager. But I think it’s an excellent point they’re not your friend. I mean there, there is still has to be a lack of better terms of separation church and state. I mean they’re. They’re still your manager. I mean they’re still for good or bad, for discipline or rewards, they are still your manager.
Yep and and put yourself in the manager shoes. I want to build the best team around me I can so that my team is looks good and therefore I look good. Really, that that’s really what it is. And if you are that team player that pulls your weight and does what you’re supposed to do, hey, life isn’t that difficult people. None of these have been difficult at all. And then number 10, the final one on her list leave on your terms. If you don’t like your current job, look for a new one while you have a job, but don’t leave your employer without notice, don’t steal information, throw a social media tantrum on the way out, etc. We’ve seen that so many times. The last person I had to determinate, i terminated myself. It was a situation walking. We had our meeting. I’m walking to front lobby and then in the front lobby, he’s like I just got fucking fired. He’s yelling and screaming. Yeah, you could hear him all the way across. Someone asked me what’s going on? what’s someone yelling about in the guy? I don’t, i handled it, don’t worry. But just don’t throw your temperature in term, even even if you’re getting fired.
But if you’d offer them a safe space.
But offer them a safe space. Yeah, that they. I don’t. I don’t think that would have worked. But leave on your own terms the writing’s on the wall most of the time. If you’re about to get managed out, then that gives you some time to to get your ducks in a row and and move on. So no, i’d I read this article. What date is this article? was this written on Monday, may 29th? I read it and I was like this is absolutely perfect. This is excellent information, so I want to share it. So hats off to Karen Michael for writing this article. I did share it with my kids both of them and I got no response crickets when I sent it to to both of them.
So it’s common sense, dad, i hope I need a safe space.
I don’t think either of my kids need a safe space. I think they’d want to beat down the kid who needs a space, a safe space, both of them. I’ll give you a safe space, but, yeah, so that that’s that’s. That’s the the lead story for today. I do have another thing I wanted to get your opinion on and I’m going to put this on social medias. You have two responses to this question or the situation a lighten up Francis. Or b throw a temper tantrum and this is, this is evil, bad, wrong, all those things. So I got drawn into a conversation. Two people well, one person I know drew me in as a HR person, not my company, i don’t even know where this is. So the situation is an employee at a company who’s responsible for doing a lot of purchasing does all these type things. They use affiliate links to purchase things where they receive a commission for it. They use their personal apps and rewards to purchase things, and they also apparently use their personal credit card versus the company card, so they get points and rewards from from their credit card company for. And one person was saying this is wrong, evil, unethical, they need to be fired, etc. And the other person was saying what the hell’s wrong with it? so what’s a ye?
I’ll lighten up Francis.
Absolutely. I will admit I’ve had some purchasing responsibilities. I’ve done the exact same thing on all three of these accounts at some point or another. I own a few dozen websites and I have affiliate links all over the place, and so if I need to buy some for work, i would just buy it through my own affiliate links. Yeah, unless you have an actual sponsored or you’re going to buy a company, you’re getting like 3-5%. Amazon’s own website says 10%, 10%. No, it’s only like the 1% of items. You’ll get 10%. Normally, you’re getting like 3-ish on those affiliate links. So you need a lot of purchases to add up to do that, using personal apps to get rewards. Even not that long ago, once upon a time I ordered Chick-fil-A breakfast for the company and I used my Chick-fil-A app and I got a Buku load of points and I got like bought myself three free milkshakes with all the points I earned from buying a couple hundred dollars worth of Chick-fil-A. It’s a shame. How did the company it was? I feel so guilty. Every time I have a Chick-fil-A shake. They’re so good, but they’re so bad at the same time It’s the 9,000 calories.
It’s not the guilt, it triggers a chemical reaction.
It feels like guilt, But the company’s not paying anymore on either of these things. When you buy through an affiliate link, the price isn’t jacked up with that. And then finally, using your personal card versus the company card to get the points and rewards from it. If your company doesn’t have a problem with it, what the hell I made at my current company? I made a very large purchase, not for the points and rewards, but our company cards, our AMEX cards in this particular company did not accept American Express. So I’ve whipped out my own personal visa and purchased something and, yeah, I get cash back for that and what. I made 50, 60 bucks, but it didn’t cost the company anything. I filed an expense report. I got reimbursed. I didn’t say less, 50 bucks for it. So I don’t see the issue. But there was some. But one of the participants of this conversation was adamant that this was wrong. This was evil. The person is stealing from the company. I’m like the company is getting what they want at. probably now where I would change my mind if I’m buying it from this place, it’s more expensive. I get a better commission versus buying it for this place, where I don’t get a commission that, okay, that’s where that’s drawing. That’s going into some negative areas there. But if you’re just have to buy something from Staples, Amazon, whatever, hell, yeah, use your, use your affiliate links, use your apps and rewards, get a. Use your company card if you want. Where I work now, we have people that are the truest definition of road warriors, And I was talking to one of them and he was telling me that our company pays for his entire family vacation because he books his own airline flights within the company standards He keep and even if you don’t, if you travel team books that you keep the miles. So it gets the miles, gets a hotel rewards and points, gets the credit card rewards and points, and we pay for his family’s vacation every year because he travels so much. So, like good on you.
I wish I travel that much Exactly I’ve seen. I see no issues with any of this.
Yeah, until that we’re getting the point where they’re doing something shady. hey, I can get it for, you know, $1,000 on Amazon, but I can, but I could get it at $800. It’s other place where I don’t have an affiliate link, That’s where the problem comes in.
Yeah, that’s an ethical. That’s an ethical issue there. Like, I will consider that an ethical issue.
Otherwise. Otherwise, if you’re just purchasing, your normal course of the day purchasing, hey, have at it. So, anyhow, i forgot what I already said earlier. This episode would be our best practice for the night. I forgot it too.
So don’t be logical practice.
Don’t be logical.
A dear job. A dear job. Show up to work on time.
Yeah, you can pick here, you can pick your, pick your favorite of the 10. That’s, that can be our best practice. Pick one, one of the above, one or all the above. No wrong answers. So any anything fun you’d like to add? or before we head out for the night, no, no, exactly. So everybody go find your safe place. Yeah, yeah, Oh dear God, wait till next week to listen to your next episode of JDDHR, where we’re going to talk like NPR hosts and make you feel nice and cuddly and safe each and every day.
I can’t even do it.
Our intro and outro music is the underscore orchestra’s song double the double, and our voice artist is Andrew Culpa. As always, I’m Warren and this is Feathers and we’re helping you survive. Hr1 what the fuck moment at a time in your safe space.